Porn has done a lot to change our culture’s values of sex and relationships, leading many down a path of darkness, pain, confusion, and division. Proven Men seeks to help men break free from this cycle of addiction and destruction. Below are some ways that pornography has reshaped our culture’s view of sex and relationships.
Sex is Not About Making Love
Sex is meant to be an act between two married people who love and care about each other. The sex that occurs in porn films is loveless and emotionless. It takes all the feelings that are normally associated with sex- caring, affection, tenderness- and turns them on their head. They are replaced by anger, selfishness, hate, fear, and disgust. By changing the emotions associated with sex, it changes how sex was designed by God. From these feelings of anger and hate, men are shown that it’s okay to treat women in a degrading way, which is untrue. God tells us in Colossians 3:19 that men should love their wives without any hint of abuse, physical or otherwise.
Brain Changes
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When men view pornography, it physically changes their brain. Porn becomes a chemical addiction to the brain’s pleasure sensors, and like all addictions eventually the brain craves a higher dose to feel pleasure. This leads to porn addicts feeling depressed or uneasy if they try to stop watching pornography on their own. It also makes it extremely easy to relapse into addiction.
It Can Be Harmful to Sexual Development
About 3 in 10 men view pornography before they turn 12. When an adolescent boy views porn it gives him narrow and unrealistic expectations for future relationships. This time in a young man’s life is confusing and full of hormones, and viewing or masturbating to porn can lead their brains to be wired in a way that associates sex to an action devoid of love and emotion.
Porn is Replacing Sex Ed
The top source of information about sex for men between 18 and 23 years old is pornography, which exceeds one in four men (27%). 15% of men all ages say that they rely on porn as their primary source of information about sex.
Unrealistic Expectations
Men are more than twice as likely than women to view porn, but wives and girlfriends are the ones who have to deal with consequences of porn viewing. Women are held to unrealistically high standards that are only achieved in porn videos through heavy editing, makeup, and plastic surgery. This leads to many men holding their wives to this expectation, and many women feeling inferior and shameful about their appearance. We are told in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that love does not envy or boast. This shame was never intended to be part of the marriage covenant.
Porn Destroys Trust
Trust is one of the most important, if not the most important, thing in a relationship and it takes a long time to build. Unfortunately, it can be torn down in a fraction of the time. Studies have shown that pornography has contributed to about half of all divorces in the US. Viewing porn brings other women into your relationship, which is what the Bible calls adultery. When a man in a relationship views porn, it becomes a problem that the couple must overcome together to have a lasting marriage.
It Leads to Isolation
Because of all the things listed above, porn addicts often end up alone. Even if they want to seek help, the guilt and shame of their addiction keeps them from reaching out to others. They will want to lean on their own understanding and strength, but they cannot go about changing on their own. To find freedom on their journey, they must rely upon their Heavenly Father and His family. They need to know it’s okay to be vulnerable and seek out answers and help.
Our Porn Survey digs deeper into how pornography is affecting Americans and their lives. Download it to learn more.
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